You think you have things pretty well figured out, and the things that do bother you are pretty small in comparison to the rest of the world. Or, perhaps you think that all couples feel that way about one another. Maybe you think that it does not really matter in the end if you are happy or just...existing.
Well...you're right. Sort of. Chances are, you do have things pretty well figured out. And, it's actually fairly likely that most couples feel that way about one another once in a while. But it does matter in the end that you are doing more than just existing.
See, here's the thing: you may need therapy. You need someone to talk to. Whether it is a counsellor or a friend, you need to have someone that can listen and help you figure this out for real. Not just to feel better for now, but really, truly understand exactly what it is you feel and why.
As a counsellor, I have the distinct advantage of not being involved anywhere else in your life. I don't know your group of friends. I don't know your parents, and I'm not your kid's baseball coach (mostly because I am no good at baseball). I get to look in as far as you let me and help you see the patterns that you are so accustomed to that you never put it together as a pattern. You live inside your life. I don't. I get to see it from the outside and help you gain a different perspective. As you gain that extra perspective, you begin to see emotions rising within you faster. You feel with more accuracy. You communicate more clearly. Little things don't bother you anymore.
It's not far off of looking at a road map. Some people look at a map because they have no earthly idea where their destination is, let alone how to get there. Others have a general idea, but need some specific help. Still others are pretty sure they know how to get there, and they simply want confirmation it's the best way.
Therapy (or counselling, or professional help) benefits you directly as you learn about yourself. Scads of people who are paid to do research have figured out that if you voice your concerns, they automatically seem less concerning. Of course, this varies for everyone and you may feel only a little bit better to start. Or you may feel worse at the start. The therapeutic experience is a living thing - it changes, even with the same counsellor over a number of years, it will be a little bit different each time.
So, here's what I think: if you have the sense that things could be better for you; if you feel like maybe you aren't functioning with the emotional intelligence you thought you had; if you have heard yourself repeat "I can do this myself" more than once; if you feel like there's got to be more, you're not crazy. You're not a failure. You want to live a better life.
And that, dear reader, is why you need therapy.